杜然的blog——i'm blinded by blackness

今天才听说，“杜然”如果用闽南话发音，类似骂人的脏话。对方没细说，我也没好意思细问。但大致上我能猜到是什么字。

中国自己研发的支线飞机下线了，名叫“凤翔”。听起来是不是很像大户人家的大房太太最宠爱的那个丫环的名字？而且这个丫环最后很有可能被邪恶的老爷强暴，因为留下了大户人家的种子，而被一直未生育的大房太太所忌恨，最后落得怎一个“惨”字了得的下场。

再说也是刚下线的时速300公里的“和谐号”火车。我不反对和谐社会，和谐好啊，真的好，多少夫妻离婚的理由都是：夫妻感情不和谐。但一拥而上以和谐命名的事物，总让我想起当年的“东方红”号火车头。背后的逻辑思维分明没有变化嘛，尽管社会已经前进了50年。不提“和谐”，还是说“三个戴表”吧。是“戴表”，不是“代表”。

听说某君在写小说，小说的开头是这样的：

北京的五环路上，一辆拖拉机突突突啊突突突地奔驰。驾驶拖拉机的是一个老头，名叫张长发。诡异的是，拖拉机上竟然坐着三个穿着泳衣戴着手表的妙龄女郎。拖拉机突突突啊突突突地奔驰。张长发一扭头，喊道：“我说，三个戴表啊，你们抓稳嘞！”三个女子不约而同地回到：“我们抓得稳着那，大叔。”

这开头够烂的。

也许，在未来，当你的好朋友告诉你昨夜过得很畅快，你除了要问他/她对方的性别之外，还得问一句：是人，还是机器人？

前两天的《华盛顿邮报》上有一篇书评，介绍David Levy的新书《LOVE AND SEX WITH ROBOTS：The Evolution Of Human-Robot Relationships》（与机器人的性与爱：人类与机器人之间关系的进化）。David Levy认为，在将来，人可能会爱上机器人，甚至有可能和机器人结婚，换句话说，人会和机器人发生性关系。我想这里应该有一个前提：未来的机器人决不会是摸起来冰凉，长相类似电影《星球大战》里的任何一款。

根据David Levy的预测，在嘿咻之后，机器人可能会点燃一根烟，说：需要给我的电池充电了。这听起来真他妈酷！David Levy认为，未来还会出现机器人娼妓（sexbots），每次接待完客人后，更换关键部位，就可以继续接待下一位客人，这样可以避免传染病。

嘿嘿，我猜，如果这一天真的到来，生产伟哥的那家药厂的股价，一定会狂跌。

LOVE AND SEX WITH ROBOTS：The Evolution Of Human-Robot Relationships
By David Levy
Harper. 334 pp.
Price: 24.95 dollars

好些年前，听过一个笑话，描述东长安街上的一组建筑。

话说妇联大楼被人弄大了肚子（那楼正面呈弧形），众人纷纷揣测是谁干的。有人对着妇联旁边的中纺大厦（典型的阳具崇拜外形）指指点点，说：你看，肯定是他干的，还挺着呢！中纺大厦觉得特委屈，赶紧声明：不是我干的，不是我干的，是海关大楼干的（那会儿，海关大楼中间的那个空洞还没补起来），你看他还支棱着呢。海关大楼一听急了，大声嚷嚷：不是我干的，不是我干的，是交通部大楼干的，你们看，那楼的顶还红着呢。

每次陪外国朋友走过东长安街，我都会拍拍巴掌后说道：注意听，注意听，大家看好了，我们现在抵达的地方是中国国立丑陋博物馆（National Ugliness Museum）。

突然想起这个笑话，是因为前天在新浪看到头条新闻竟然是杭州的一个小区按1∶3的比例修建了一座108米高的埃菲尔铁塔。新闻的图片说明称，这是国内首座仿法国埃菲尔铁塔。还是不要再有后来者了吧，一个已经够丢人了。又想起，一个有钱人请人照着法国的某个宫殿，在北京的郊区仿造了一座。咱中国人就是有力量，我们骄傲地向世人宣布：恶俗的吉尼斯世界纪录保持者，就是我们中国人！

真同情那些若干年后写中国建筑史的人，他们怎么下笔啊！

早上零点48分，我正在做一个关于间谍的梦，电话响了，现实生活中的电话。

拿起电话，那一头传来一个怯怯的声音问：超市吗？

我用含混不清的声音回答：人肉叉烧包，你要几笼？

————上面是叉烧包，下面是兔子————

朋友上个月就收到了我的圣诞礼物，但坚持所有家人于圣诞前聚餐的时候再打开。于是心生一计，装作不经意的样子，说：可怜的bunny！估计已经饿死了。朋友不慌不忙地说：Dont worry, we will give it a good funeral.我不知道天下还真有好奇心如此之弱、自控能力如此之强的人，或者可以被称为freak。

————从间谍开始，到间谍结束————

法国警察最终还是找不到证据，证明那个叫李李的中国女孩是中国的商业间谍。当初听说这件案子的时候，我就觉得不可能——即使中国真对其他国家的汽车技术感兴趣，那也是对德国和日本的汽车企业，而绝对绝对不可能是法国！这起事件，再次证明了法国人傲慢、自以为是的一面。

那位曾经抵制中国制造一年的Sara Bongiorni女士，在21日的《基督教科学箴言报》上发表了一篇新文。一个没有看过她那本书的朋友，在看了这篇文章之后，有了这样的结论：“she has some wisdom.The world is a messy place and maybe it is not a good place for rules,only guidelines."


Why my family stopped boycotting Chinese goods
The experience showed how much we're tied to the global economy.
By Sara Bongiorni

Baton Rouge, La. - The other day, my son made a declaration that would have stopped me cold two years ago.

"For Christmas, I'm going to ask for a skateboard," he said. "It's the only thing I want."

My 7-year-old's declaration would have brought on an episode of parental angst if he had made it in December of 2005. That's because for all of 2005 my family boycotted goods made in China, and skateboards, like almost everything on the wish lists of the nation's children – dolls, action figures, video games – are mostly made in China.

Our boycott wasn't about politics or product safety. It was an experiment to measure the connections between my little family and China's booming export economy. We wanted to know if we could shake free of China in our lives as consumers – and whether we even wanted to.

The boycott upended our lives. Our son pined for Chinese-made light sabers and monster trucks. We placated him with Danish LEGOS. Broken appliances could not be repaired or replaced. Our son's sneakers cost nearly when our only alternative was tennis shoes from Italy.

We bent boycott rules, even accidentally broke a couple. Then came Christmas, when we spent too much on German-made toys and jury-rigged homemade gifts (the handmade sleeping bags did not impress the kids). In the wee hours of Dec. 31, our son woke us with a cry of joy. "Tomorrow I'll be able to buy from King Kong!" he called into the darkness. (He meant Hong Kong, a special administrative region of China.)

The end of the boycott felt like liberation. Life got easier as "Made in China" made its way back into our house. With three little kids and two jobs, easy can be irresistible.

Then, months ago, I again found myself looking out for the made-in-China label as recalls of Chinese pet food, toothpaste, and millions of lead-tainted toys grabbed the headlines week after week. Lead, so perilous to children, suddenly seemed everywhere. I canvassed the house for the metal jewelry that has been the focus of so many recalls. I signed up for a recall-notification service offered by the US Consumer Product Safety Commission. I stuck a pacifier made in Germany in our toddler's mouth to prevent her from sucking on the Chinese toys strewn about our living room. I wondered what we'd do when Christmas neared, when the pleas for toys made in China would begin.

There was one thing that I did not do, however. I did not stop buying Chinese products. It wasn't that I minded the hassle of another boycott. It wasn't that I thought the dangers of Chinese toys weren't real. But in 2005 I had learned that we are too closely tied to China to think that we can turn our backs on it. The boycott taught me that self-reliance, at the level of the family and the nation, is a thing of the past. Nobody relinquishes independence without a fight, or at least a sigh. But that is what we have done, quietly and irreversibly, in turning to China and the rest of the world for so much of what we want and need at the bargain prices we have come to expect.

The boycott taught me something else: that I did not want to turn my back on China. I'm not minimizing its huma rights record or abuse of the environment, but I believe the solutions to those concerns and others lie in turning toward China, rather than away.

So I made a leap of faith. I bought Chinese building blocks for our toddler for Christmas. (OK, it wasn't quite a leap of faith. I called the company to verify they had been tested for lead paint.) I ordered snow boots made in China for her sister. When my son declared his longing for a skateboard, I headed for Target, found a board, and turned it over to find the words I knew I would see: Made in China.

I don't know if I'm making the right decision, but the world is a messy, uncomfortable place where tidy decisions are hard to come by, at least for me. So I will keep reading recall notices, but I won't toss China from the house completely. And when I watch my son step onto his new skateboard and take his first tentative glide, I will imagine him sailing toward the rest of the world, rather than away from it.

Sara Bongiorni is a Louisiana writer and author of "A Year Without 'Made in China:' One Family's True-Life Adventure in the Global Economy."